Everyone has ideologies. Some have an ego, which
becomes their ideology. It is true that everything we do, may it be our work,
lifestyle, speech and thought is driven by our ideology/ideologies. No matter
how similar you think, you and your best friend are, there is always something
that differentiates you both.
I have a lot of ideologies, I can’t list them all,
but I will narrow it down to two of them. First, I am NOT religious. As
shocking as it may seem to some people, I am not ashamed of admitting it. Being
agnostic isn’t bad. I admit that there is a force that balances everything, but
not an immortal “human” who sits in the clouds to watch upon us. Anyway, the
point is, I only sit for prayers because of mother’s/friends’ pressure. They
find it disrespectful, mostly shocking, if I don’t keep “fasts”. Really? If I
don’t want to do it, I won’t. My doing it, without believing in it, is disrespectful.
Well, I also believe that whatever happens, it happens for good. I have
experienced it, and I strongly feel that no matter how much you pray, nothing
can change fate. If it has to happen, even god isn’t going to listen you crib
about changing it.
Second, I have a soft spot for the wrinkled beggars.
I don’t have the heart to ignore them, but I do have the strength to drop in
some money (mostly Rs.10 or more). They are the ones who need more help, than
the women walking around in the streets with children in their hands, tapping
on your glass so hard it may break or the children wandering about who are
shooed away from all the market areas. I have witnessed women and children sitting
on the footpaths and smoking bidi, with an attitude. There have been times when
I have been chased by kids who won’t leave till you sit in a vehicle. In such
situations, I happen to have some food with me that I can’t finish or don’t
wish to take home, so I hand it to them. The expression on their faces is
unforgettable. Once a girl thanked me, after I gave her a bowl of my leftover
chicken. I felt like the queen. I know I can’t do anything more but I try to do
something to make me feel like I have filled someone’s stomach for a day. I
don’t and never will, understand their gesture, when they beg. Do they do that
because they want money to smoke bidi or food or they want both (which is never
the case)? I never had the courage to ask and I think it is best not to.